The Falling Game
by kat3.alwaysxox
Summary: Sonny Munroe is not a tease. At least she claims she's not a tease. Chad Dylan Cooper begs to differ by the way her skirt is rising up against her bare thigh and her lips are feverishly attached to his. ChadSon. Multi-Chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**The F a l l i n g Game**

_Sonny Monroe is not a tease. At least she claims she's not a tease. Chad Dylan Cooper begs to differ by the way her skirt is rising up against her bare thigh and her lips are feverishly attached to his. _

* * *

**AN:** This is my first multi-chapter in a while, and I'm quite excited about it. Special thanks to my lovely beta, ride2night (Lori), and Ophelia22 who lent me her fabulous format from her amazing Glee, Puck/Rachel story "_Disney Laced Profanity". _Constructive criticism welcome! Now, on with the story.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

In which Sonny Monroe attacks Chad Dylan Cooper (with her tongue).

* * *

Two days ago, if you had told Chad Dylan Cooper that he'd be kissing Sonny Monroe in front of the whole of Condor Studios, he would of gasped in disbelief, before saying there's no way in the hell, before promptly storming off in the other direction, questioning your sanity.

But, here he was in the Condor cafeteria, during prime lunch time, kissing Sonny Monroe.

You know, if it wasn't happening to him, it might _actually_ be a funny story.

* * *

It starts on a normal Tuesday morning (which is like any other morning) at the falls. Chad had arrived seven minutes late for makeup and hair, Portlyn had managed to set her skirt on fire (forcing her to run around in her undergarments, much to the liking of some of the males at Mackenzie Falls), the script was over dramatized, and in between takes Chad took the liberty of making out with Lydia in his dressing room.

So, about half-way through the day, when Chad was exploring Lydia's mouth, their director, Mike, bursts into the room. Yes, _seriously_.

Chad detaches himself from Lydia, and sends a death glare towards the door. "What the hell?!" He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and gets up off the sofa.

The director ignores his remark, and instead looks at Lydia. "Guess what?" He pauses, and Lydia stops looking at her nails.

"What?"

"It's the scene when Penelope and Chloe get in a slap fight." Mike smiles, and Chad thinks it's so big and forced that it might actually crack his face. "And we have no Penelope. Get. Your. Ass. On. Set!"

Lydia quickly exits the room, flipping her long, dark hair over the shoulder.

After his eyes followed her out, Chad shifts his gaze to Mike. Mike is in a mood, and you don't want to be with Mike when he's in a mood. Trust him. Being the smart person he is, Chad quickly and silently makes his way over to the door in such a way that it could put a super spy to shame, because it's just that sneaky. Almost like a Puma. A smile grows across Chad's face at the idea of comparing him and the big cat. He is _totally_ like a Puma. A strong, quick, steady, majestic, attractive Puma. _Rwar._

His Puma dreams are quickly cut short when a hand grabs his arm before he can even get one foot out the door.

"Wipe that God-damn smile off your face! You're not going anywhere but with me, Mr. Cooper!"

Mike's tone seems to get brighter, and his smile seems to get bigger (if that was even possible), which means he's angry, because the happier he gets, the more his blood boils. For someone so small, he was certainly intimidating. Chad get's this lump in his throat that he tries to swallow, because really, everyone knows what going with Mike means.

It means going to see Mitch.

And going to see Mitch can either be really good or really bad because he's the producer. But in times like this, it can only be the later of the two.

And suddenly Chad feels like a wimpy house cat. _Meow._

* * *

So it begins with kissing, china doll smiles, and cats, and then continues like this:

* * *

When he gets to Mitch's office, he doesn't know what to expect. There could be yelling or laughing, smiling or crying, it's a complete situation of luck; he hopes lucky the leprechaun feels generous and kind, and will be on his side today.

He knocks politely before entering the room, and as soon as he opens the door, he does a double take on the name tag to make sure he read it right, because this had to be some sort of joke.

Chad had practically prepared himself for anything _but_ this. There on the floor, with his fat ass sitting on a new yoga mat, was the Falls producer, Mitch. And it wasn't enough that he was in pretzel position either. _No_. He was _ohm-ing_, like it was actually going to help his karma or increase his chi, or whatever the hell he was trying to do.

Chad stops short, cocking his head, and staring at the scene like maybe something would magically make sense all of a sudden.

"Don't just stand, letting bad vibes through the open door!" Upon Mitch's request, Mike ushers the teenager in and sits down on the floor like this was totally normal.

Which it isn't.

"Co-_omh_ join us Mr. Cooper." Mitch's voice came out in some sing-song type way, and Mike didn't have to give him a second glare before Chad's buttox was attached to the ground like a magnet.

"Chad, some things have co-" Mike stops short. "_-Ohm_ to our attention."

Chad bites his tongue trying not to laugh at the awkwardness. "_Like?_"

"Well for starters-"

"We are at peace, use your inside voice Michael."

The pussy (correction: pansy; no need to diss the cats) of a director nods, stuttering slightly. "Yes sir." Oh God. He's like some tamed platypus (which is a totally lame animal, because it's too afraid to give birth to live young that it has to _lay eggs_. Really, what type of mammal is _that_?). His so-called director recomposes himself, letting out an exasperated breath.

"Chad, you came in late today."

Chad shrugs, clicking his tongue. "So?" If this really is what the conversation is about, he so doesn't get the reason he's in here, contorting his body into shapes that shouldn't even be possible.

"And you came in late yesterday."

"And?"

"And? Well, _and_ the day before."

Chad's brow furrows. "Your point?"

"His point, Mr. Chad Dylan Cooper, is that you come in late every day." Chad doesn't miss the thankful look Mike shoots Mitch, and he feels totally double-teamed by the _Mike and Mitch Duo_. Mike is the Han Solo to Mitch's Chewbacca, the Bonnie to his Clyde, the Scooby to his Shaggy.

Chad doesn't like comparing them to such legendary bad-asses though. He much prefers to think of them as Dumb and Dumber.

"Well, it didn't seem to be a problem." He sneers; trying to force his legs into the position that Mike had his in. This yoga stuff was _hard_.

"Well it is a problem, and so is your reputation with the press."

"My reputation with the-" As one of his eyebrows disappeared under his golden fringe, Chad releases his legs, and stretches them out in front of him, massaging them lightly. "What's the matter with being a heartthrob?"

"Heartthrobs use their umbrellas to hit paparazzo's cars?" Two scrutinizing looks are shot towards the teen.

"It was one time, and I didn't mean to, the flashes were going off in my eyes-"

"Heartthrobs shove puppies?"

"Ok, you know what, that-"

"Heartthrobs illegally set off cherry bombs and stink pellets backstage in Zac Efron's dressing room before-"

"Ok! I get it! But come on, brothers!" Mike scrunches his nose at the word. "Everyone makes mistakes, even someone as perfect and Chadtastic as me!"

Scoffing, the shorter, platy_pussier_ one of the two older men rolls his eyes, and lets his taller, stouter companion take over completely.

"Mr. Cooper," The balding man stands, stretching his hands over his head and takes a few deep breaths. "The thing is, first the bad press was good. It got the ratings up. But now, people are boycotting the show. And you know what that does to ratings? It sends them down. And those down ratings are causing me to stress, which is why my therapist suggested this girly Yoga-Pilates shit, which is another story, regardless, but leads to the same point: We need those ratings up. We need to show America a side of you they've never seen. We need Chad 2.0: a new and improved, loving, kind_, caring_ Chad."

Chad just laughs, because they can't be serious. Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't care or love or anything. Chad Dylan Cooper just does and acts and says. There is no Chad 2.0, but to humor them (and not, you know, get fired and watch the show fail completely), he decides to act the slight bit interested.

"And how do you suppose we do this?"

Mitch forces his fat leg up in an attempted tree position, and snaps two chubby fingers, keeping his breathing even. "Michael, would you please?" He points over to a manila folder situated on his desk. Opening the folder, Mike smiles slyly, deciding to put an end to the unsilent silence currently overtaking the room.

"Mr. Cooper, meet your new girlfriend."

Chad furrows his brow, and snatches the folder from his director's hands. Flipping through the pictures and pages, the teen's face crosses between a mix of confusion, horror, and shock.

"Uh, she's- she's not my girlfriend."

"She is now. Want to stay on the show? We need ratings up, and why not get them up by making a whole Romeo-Juliet scenario between two hit shows for Condor Studios? The goody-girl and the former bad-boy. The fans, press, and the whole of America will eat it up!"

"How am I even supposed to get her to agree on this?" Chad lets out a small scoff of disbelief, closing the folder. This cannot be happening to him.

"Seduce her, take her out to dinner, woo her however you kids do it these days, I don't care. Just make sure press gets the photos."

"Why? I mean, don't people get to choose who they date?"

"Love isn't a choice, Chad. It just happens. So. Make. It. _Happen_." Mitch returns his leg to the floor and grabs the folder, tossing it back on his desk. "Now get out! You're invading my karma-bubble."

Invading his karma-bubble? Yeah, doesn't make sense. But as Chad makes his way back to his dressing room, he starts to realize not much of anything today makes sense.

* * *

So after Chad found his inner chi and made a quick stop at his dressing room, he set off for the cafeteria, and it all led to this:

* * *

Chad saunters through the doors to the cafeteria, hoping to find a steak with his name on it, and Sonny Monroe.

Crossing the room in his cool, collected persona, he reaches the food-lady, and asks for his special. One object of his desire acquired, and one (unfortunately) to go. He heads to the middle of the cafeteria, sitting down at a vacant table near the Randoms, hoping that Sonny would soon appear, and he could quickly start the whole ordeal, so it could end just as quickly.

Slicing his tender, medium rare steak, he watches Needy and Geeko's lame attempts to charm the cashier, laughing to himself at their complete lack of skills. He is just about to take his first bite of perfection, but before he knows what hits him (literally), a pink vision is on him, full on making-out with him, attacking him with their tongue. He tastes her strawberry lip gloss, and can smell her lavender hair, and starts to think: Oh. My. God. This. Is. So. Hot.

But of course, that's when she has to pull away, and dampen the moment by saying: "Just go with it, ok?"

Well, that ruins it.

Well, that and the fact that it was Sonny-_freaking_-Monroe.

* * *

And that? That's how he ends up making out with Sonny Monroe in the middle of lunch, which isn't the worst thing, considering.

* * *

**AN**: So, you decide. Shall I continue? Like it? Hate it? Comments/suggestions/criticism? The button is right there, so please drop a review on your way out! Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

The F a l l i n g Game

_Sonny Monroe is not a tease. At least she claims she's not a tease. Chad Dylan Cooper begs to differ by the way her skirt is raising up against her bare thigh and her lips are feverishly attached to his. _

* * *

**AN:** Wow! Thanks for all the great response for this story! It makes me even more eager to continue. I want to thank everyone who reviewed/added to favorites/alerted, especially those who have PMs disabled, so I could not personally thank (I think this list includes, and sorry if I miss you: MiaPatli'sBlackMoonroses, wacogirl16, VioletSilk, Olivia3love, youveforgotten, and BlackBloodedMagic). And, of course, thanks to my lovely beta, Lori, for all your patience, and overall awesomeness.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

In which Sonny Monroe talks hookers (and is struck by figurative lightening.)

* * *

Sonny Monroe would be the first to admit that she's not as, er, _sexually advanced_ as most girls her age.

She's a little naïve and innocent, and she's only had one boyfriend in her sixteen short years of life, which was when she was fourteen.

Since she's so loving, and caring, and kind, and naïve, and _yes_, you get the picture, she really didn't think it would be a big deal to invite said ex-fourteen year-old, ex-first boyfriend to visit her for two weeks in Hollywood.

After all, they were now friends, and it's normal to invite friends to visit you while you're making it big, so Jack Wheatley was no exception.

Right?

Well, that would be Sonny's first mistake.

* * *

It starts with Sonny's second mistake:

She gets to the studio bright and early on Tuesday morning, to make sure everything is all perfectly ready.

From an early age, Sonny has known her manners and all the steps to being an ideal hostess, the first step being to ensure everything is ready for your guest, and in this case, it includes her dressing room, because he's probably going to be spending the most time there. She's just finished vacuuming, and is about to start dusting, when her blonde best frenemy walks in.

"Hey, Sonny! I had this great idea about a skit for-" Tawni pauses, her face scrunching as her perfectly shaped nostrils inhale a deep breath. "What's that smell?"

Sonny smiles brightly, holding up a tall, silver can. "Oh, it's my new air freshener, _Glade's Lovely, Luscious, Lively Lavender_." She sprays it once, closing her eyes as the aroma filled her nasal passages. "Now with extra lavender! Don't you _love_ it?"

Tawni sneezes, shaking her head rapidly, causing her blond curls in a whirl through the air. "No!" She blinks, coughing a couple times, as Sonny sprays more of the sweet toxin into the room. "It smells like I just stuck lavender plants up my nose." She snatches the can from Sonny, rereading the label. "And the title makes it sound like some stripper show or something."

Sonny promptly snatches the can back, rolling her eyes at Tawni's comment. It did not sound like a prostitute's show title. _Glade's Lovely, Luscious, Lively_- Ok, so maybe it sounded a _little_ like it should be a show at a gentleman's club, but who would automatically think that. Quickly putting the can back down on her dressing table, Sonny begins to wipe down her furniture with a dust rag, before making her way over to Tawni's side of the room.

"Tawni, can I quickly dust off your dressing table?" Before waiting for an answer, she begins, causing her companion to furrow her perfectly plucked brow.

"Uh, Sonny, why are you _cleaning_?"

"Oh, I thought I had told you, my friend Jack is coming to visit for two weeks."

* * *

And that innocent comment? That would be the start of her second mistake.

* * *

"Oh yeah, you're little friend from Wisconsin. You mentioned something." Tawni smacks her lips uninterestedly, and begins to look at her nails, picking up her nail file.

Sonny shakes her head. "Ha, he's hardly little. He's about six feet."

Tawni's head whips up. "Six feet?"

"Yep." Popping the 'p', Sonny stops dusting, raising an eyebrow. "Why the sudden interest?"

"How is he six feet?"

"I don't know! He just kind of shot up when he turned fifteen, I mean it is-"

"Wait," Tawni cut Sonny off, crumpling her forehead in confusion. "How old is he now?"

Sonny rolls her eyes, beginning to wonder if the blonde actually listened to anything said, or just filtered out anything except compliments. "Seventeen."

"Seventeen?! I thought he was seven!"

And why would a seven year old be visiting her in Hollywood? Yeah, Sonny didn't know the answer to that question.

Walking over to the other side of the room, Sonny picks up a photo frame containing a picture taken right before she joined '_So Random!_'. It was of her fifteen year old self and Jack, their arms wrapped loosely around each other, big smiles taking up their faces. With the photo in hand, she crosses back over to Tawni, before handing the frame to the awaiting girl. "No. He's seven_teen_, and six feet of pure gorgeous." Judging by the look on Tawni's face, Sonny begins to wish she had not added the second part of that sentence, or given her the picture.

"Oh!" Tawni claps excitedly. "Six feet of gorgeous for two weeks? Tawni like-y!" Sonny winces, mentally slapping herself for the plain stupidity of starting to dig a hole she wouldn't be able to get out of.

"No, Tawn, he's off limits." She snatches the picture from the smirking blonde.

"I get it. _You_ still like _him_." Sonny huffs as she turns around, ignoring Tawni's smug look. She certainly did not like Jack that way. Sure, he was nice to look at, but their relationship was purely platonic.

"No I don't. Please, we went out like years ago. I still thought I was going to marry Jesse McCartney." She plopped down into her dressing table chair, placing the dusting rag on the arm rest. "Besides, I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend now."

Sonny jumps a little, feeling a hand rest on her shoulder. How the _hay_ did Tawni get to her so quickly? She's like some ninja or something, and it's just a _little_ freaky.

"Sonny, Sonny, Sonny." The blonde ticks her tongue in a degrading manner, and Sonny has a really bad feeling about what this conversation is about to transpire into. "Now, you're just making excuses."

Sure, ok.

"Uh, no. I'm serious. I have no romantic feelings for him what so ever."

"Sonny, ok, let's be honest." Tawni pats Sonny's shoulder lightly, before retracting her hand, and flipping her hair so it trails down her back. "You're romantic life is a fail."

Before she can even open her mouth to protest, Sonny is cut off.

"Sonny, don't even try. The only 'relationship' you've been in since you've been here is with James, and let's face it, it was a fail." Tawni pauses. "And even if it did count as a 'relationship', it'd still be a fail."

Sonny grimaces at Tawni's air quotes around relationship, because it really was a fail. But that was only one out of two relationships in her life that had been a fail! So it doesn't mean her _whole_ love life is a fail. Right? _Of course_.

And even if her whole love life was a fail, she certainly isn't going to waste any time pining over random guys, like, per say, in a totally, random example, Jack. Because she doesn't like Jack like that. And if she sounds like she does, may lightening strike her.

Not literally, of course, because that might hurt.

But figuratively.

Let figurative lightening strike her.

See? No electricity!

She doesn't like Jack.

And she doesn't need to like him! Or any particular males at this point!

So what if she doesn't have a good relationship track record! Or if her romantic life is non-existent! It doesn't matter! Because she is a strong, capable, _single_ woman!

Who's occasionally lonely and sings songs like 'All By Myself' in the shower.

Ugh. Darn Tawni and her stupid pity seeds she plants. Lightening should strike _her_ instead.

Sonny narrows her eyes, pointedly shooting a scrutinizing glare at Tawni. "So maybe you're right, but I don't see _you_ in any relationships."

"Puh-lease." Rolling her eyes, Tawni scoffs. "Tawni Hart doesn't do relationships. She does non-committed agreements. It just works."

"Well being single works for me!" Sonny snaps.

"Yeah right," Tawni sighs. "You just don't have the option to be in a relationship."

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!" As she stands, Sonny crosses her arms against her chest, her lips forming a small pout. "I just haven't found the right person yet!"

"Sonny, you haven't found _anyone _yet." Tawni looks down at her nails, huffing out a breath. "Not anyone willing, anyway."

"I could totally be in a relationship if I wanted to be!" Ignoring Tawni's mocking face, Sonny starts to rearrange a couple of items on her dressing table.

She _totally_ could be in a relationship if she wanted to be. Anyone would be lucky to have her as a girlfriend! She's loving, and kind, and caring, and innocent, and- Well, that's what her mother told her. Of course her mother also told her Santa Clause was real (which he is), but then there was that time she told her that her Aunt Susie was normal (which she isn't), and she guesses there was that time when her mother told her- Ok, so maybe her mother isn't always the most reliable source, but the point is, Sonny just needed to find a lucky someone.

"I bet you wouldn't last a week in a relationship." Tawni breaks the silence, pulling the brunette out of her thoughts.

"Try me!"

"Fine! I want you to get someone to be your boyfriend by the end of the week."

Sonny scoffs, her eyes finding the ceiling. "That's easy! I could-"

"You have to get a _certain_ someone to be your boyfriend by the end of this week. _Jack_ to be your boyfriend by the end of the week" Tawni stops, twisting her mouth in thought. "And he has to fall in love with you by the end of the second week." The idea rolls off the blonde's tongue like it was actually possible.

Which it wasn't.

"What? Tawni! That's completely unreasonable! A. Jack's my friend, and nothing more." Sonny holds out one finger, and begins to tick off reasons. "B. He has a girlfriend." She scrunches her face. "C. Above all, you can't fall in love in a week."

"Yeah you can! Just ask my mother and her new husband! Met three days ago, Vegas, and BAM! Hopefully he'll last longer than the last, God bless him." Tawni mutters the last part, shaking her head. She looks up upon hearing Sonny sigh, opening her mouth to object. "Fine, I'll make it slightly easier. I bet you can't get Jack to be your boyfriend, and _almost_ fall in love with you, in two weeks." Tawni sighs, shaking her head a little.

"Tawni-"

"Someone's chicken!"

Jumping at the accusation, Sonny places her hands on her hips. "I'm not chicken, it's just impossible!"

"I'll help you. Am I not the boy guru?"

Boy guru? _Really?_

"Tawni-"

"Sonny-"

"It's completely unfair."

"Aw, poor, little chicken Sonny. You just can't get a guy, can you?"

"I can too!"

"Prove it!"

Sonny doesn't like being called a chicken, but she still weighs her options. It's just a wimpy little bet, how hard could it be, right?

_Right._

"Fine, I accept your bet. Jack will be dating me, and _almost_ in love with me, by the end of his visit."

"Good, we'll discuss terms later. But right now, time to start operation jealousy." Clapping her hands excitedly, Tawni bounces back to her side of the dressing room, and opens one of her many drawers.

Suddenly, Sonny wishes she had just grown a few feathers, and dealt with it. Bawk, _bawk_.

"Operation jealousy?"

"I didn't have a lot of time to think of a name!"

"Sure you didn't." Sonny mutters under her breath.

A small smile grows across the older girl's face, and Sonny realizes she must have found what she was looking for.

"Just put this on!"

Shades of pink are tossed into her arms, and Sonny has a really, really bad feeling about what's about to happen.

* * *

Now, this is where everything falls apart, and Sonny had really wished Tawni had kept her perfectly glossed mouth shut and perfectly manicured hands out of it, because if she had Sonny wouldn't be dressed head to toe in a slutty, pink outfit, heading to the cafeteria, with a devious plan running around in her head.

And if you think it sounds bad now, wait until the story continues:

* * *

Sonny reaches the cafeteria, inhaling a series of deep breaths.

She cannot believe she actually agreed to this.

_Seriously?_

She looks like she should be one of those girls called Stacy, but spells it as 'Stacii'. A double 'I', and a heart.

Yeah, like, _totally_, _seriously_.

If it wasn't for the given consequences, the plan might not be too bad. For its cause, that is. And Sonny's part was simple, really.

Step 1: Wait for confirmation text.

Step 2: Storm through the doors and grab first male she sees.

Step 3: Make-out with said male until Tawni walks through the doors with newly arrived Jack.

Step 4: Embarrassedly break away from said male, acting as said male is boyfriend.

Now, step 5? That's when the steps start to vary.

Tawni's (_amazing, bet winning, sure to work, dating worthy, _totally_ not slutty_) Step 5: Watch as Jack boils with jealousy, and later explain to said male that he is now her boyfriend.

Sonny's (_reasonable, actually sure to work, bet losing, non-forced love, _totally_ not tease-like_) Step 5: Watch Jack stare at her in disgust of slutty ways, and explain it was a misunderstanding.

Tawni's (most probable) Step 6: Have said 'boyfriend' break up with her at end of week, leaving Jack to pick up the pieces.

Sonny's (wishful thinking) Step 6: Brush the incident off like it never happened, and enjoy the next two weeks.

The only problem Sonny faced with her plan was the fact that it wouldn't help her win the bet, and then she'd have to side with Tawni on her skits, and deal with doing whatever Tawni told her to do.

And that _so_ wasn't what Sonny wanted.

Feeling a buzz, she looks at her glowing phone, reading the text quickly.

One last deep breath and she walks through the door, looking towards the first male.

Or rather, _males_.

Nico and Grady.

No, no, no. Not going to work, and Tawni's going to be there any minute, and she won't be kissing anyone and-

Well, you could call it a lapse of judgment, or a blonde moment, or a complete whim, or a stupid mistake, or a recipe for disaster, or maybe Sonny's brain stopped functioning for a tiny, itty-bitty minute.

But somehow, she finds herself straddling Chad Dylan Cooper, whispering to him just to go along with it.

* * *

That? That would be Sonny's third mistake, otherwise known as six easy steps that might just lead to the end.

* * *

**AN:** Not my favorite, but it will get better. I'm just getting warmed up. Very excited for where this story will take us. Next chapter? Along comes Jack.

But, anyways, constructive criticism welcome, and preferred! Tell me what you want from this story, tell me what you'd change, and tell me what you like. Please drop a _review_ on the way out. Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

**The F a l l i n g Game**

_Sonny Munroe is not a tease. At least she claims she's not a tease. Chad Dylan Cooper begs to differ by the way her skirt is raising up against her bare thigh and her lips are feverishly attached to his. _

* * *

**AN:** Oh. My. God. You guys are the best! Thanks for all the adding to favourites, alerting, and reviewing. It means so much, and I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story, because I enjoy writing it. On a quick note, I realized that in the show, Sonny does indeed spell her last name as 'Munroe' as opposed to 'Monroe', so from now on, I will be spelling it with a 'u' also. Moving on, thanks again to the lovely Lori for everything. And without further a due, chapter three! Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

In which Chad Dylan Cooper disses movies (and is blinded by an imaginary spork and tortured by the industry in return).

* * *

Chad thinks that this movie must be the second gayest movie ever.

(The first obviously being High School Musical, because it has Zac Elfron and singing basketball players who break social boundaries, which _so_ isn't cool.)

It's filled with terminal diseases, and story books, and swans, and kissing, and all sorts of stuff that he _really_ couldn't care less about.

So therefore, he really can't help it when he laughs. The whole idea is ridiculous, because what real, strong, _manly_ man would actually write a love letter to some chick, who, by the way, was way too hot and out of his league to begin with, everyday, for a year.

He sure wouldn't, and neither would any guy he knows.

Except for maybe that excuse for a guy, sitting on the other end of the sofa, staring intensely at the screen.

But he doesn't count, because it isn't Chad's choice to know him, and he can't really be a guy, because his middle name is Robin.

As in the bird.

So. Gay.

* * *

It starts with Chad enjoying a certain make-out session way more than he is suppose to.

But he can't really help it, because she's doing un-freaking-believable things with her tongue that should be illegal in all 50 states and Puerto Rico (and possibly Canada), and she's moaning like she's that bathroom ghost from that magic movie he watched called something-something, starring couldn't-care-less.

(No, seriously, he doesn't know the name, because Daniel-_couldn't-care-less _ranked higher them him on the 'Top 100 Hottest Teens' list, so his ridiculous name, movie, and accent now escapes his mind.)

Any guy would so be enjoying this right now, so he can't be blamed.

Even if it is Sonny. With him. In front of the whole Condor Studios. During prime lunch. With all eyes on them.

Yes.

And since he's enjoying it so much, it's kind of upsetting when she pulls away.

He wipes his mouth of the sticky lip gloss, and furrows his brow.

What. The. Hell.

She randomly comes up and makes out with him in his lunch, and then simply gets up?

Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, because he normally loves it when girls do that. But this was Sonny.

So: What. The. Hell.

Chad looks up at the now standing Sonny, just in time to see her smeared lips stretch into a large smile.

"Hey, Jack!"

Jack? Chad doesn't like the sound of that, and he certainly doesn't like the look of the tall, muscular teen that just walked in, following Blondie, who left the room as quickly as she entered, muttering something about lip gloss.

The Randoms are _weird_.

Speaking of weird, Sonny and the teen, also known as Jack, embrace in a lengthy hug, before pulling apart.

"Sonny, it's so good to see you."

Jack's deep, Texas-etched voice echoes the room, as his emerald eyes look Sonny over.

"You look lovely as ever. Pink? That's a new color on you."

Chad scoffs, rolling his eyes. Yeah, _pink_. That's so what Jack's thinking right now, after checking out Sonny in that skimpy outfit. Evidently the scoff doesn't go unnoticed, because suddenly a two pairs of eyes are on him.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there." Jack offers his hand out, which Chad just stares at.

Sonny's face then crosses with a very fake smile. "Chad, shake his hand." She hisses through her teeth, as a shooting pain surges through his foot.

At this point, Chad thinks Sonny must be bi-polar, because one minute she's practically having clothed sex with him, and the next she's stomping on his foot like some sort of abusive, er, _it_. Yeah. An abusive it.

_Lovely_.

Chad, turning on his charm, decides there is no way this guy will intimidate him. He stands and grabs hold of Jack's hand in a death grip, smirking proudly.

"Chad." He pauses, releasing the taller boy's hand, before wiping his own hand on his pant leg. "Chad Dylan Cooper."

The other boy smiles and Chad kind of wants to punch him, because all his teeth are all pearly white, and gah, it's so irritatingly _perfect_.

"Jack." The dark haired boy raises an eyebrow. "Jack Robin Wheatley."

Ok, now this guy has got to be joking.

Robin?

_Seriously?_

He marches in all high and mighty, with his hair and teeth all 'Look at me!', and then introduces himself as Jack Robin Wheatley.

As in the bird?

As in Robin Hood?

As in- _Robin?_

"Robin?" Chad asks, his eyes dancing with humor. He notices Sonny shooting him a glare. Ha.

Jack nods. "Yep. As in Robin Goodfellow, the mischievous fairy, Puck, in Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer's Night Dream.'"

A fairy.

That's _so_ much better than a bird.

Chad's face turns bright red at his attempt to contain his laughter, but sadly, to no avail, his attempts do not work. Upon noticing that everyone once again was staring at him, he tries to stop. Chad wipes his eyes, regaining his breath.

About a minute passes in a semi-awkward silence, and Chad decides to sit down and eat his now cold steak. Obviously not catching his 'I want to eat, don't bother me' drift, Sonny sits down as well (this time next to him, and not on top of him, which makes him kind of relieved, yet kind of disappointed), and Jack takes the initiative to sit as well.

Chad begins to wish he would just take the initiative to fly away or die.

Either one works.

Sonny doesn't think so, however, so she starts to talk small talk.

Kill him.

Now.

"Jack is originally from Texas."

Well, ok, like he really cares.

Jack smiles at Sonny, and nods. "Moved to Wisconsin when I was around eleven. That's when I met Sonny."

"Yep, we were best friends from day one."

Chad doesn't even bother to look interested, because really, he doesn't care about Jack, or Sonny, or Jack and Sonny. He just wants to eat, because he's hungry.

"When we were fourteen we dated." Jack shakes his head at what Chad supposes to be the memory.

Dated?

Ok, so now there is some romantic background.

Sonny laughs a little. "But _we_ don't want to talk about that."

Chad raises his eyebrows and smirks at Sonny's comment. "Are _we_ sure?"

"Well, I-"

Sonny cuts Jack off quickly, smiling the yet another fake smile. Except this one is the fakest, biggest smile Chad has probably ever seen. "Yes, _babe_. _We_ are sure."

* * *

Babe? Yeah that's weird. So is the fact that Sonny's hand is now resting on his knee, and she's giving him a look that falls between a puppy dog face and a 'Shut up, or I'm going to gauge your eyes out with my spork' face.

And if you think things have taken a turn into crazy, wait and see what happens next.

* * *

Chad cocks an eyebrow, but doesn't ask, because Jack asks for him, with an equally puzzled look laced out across his face. "Babe?"

Chad's sentiments exactly.

"Yep." Sonny smiles even bigger, and Chad starts to wonder if her face is going to crack, because no one in heaven or hell should be able to get their mouth that wide. "We're dating."

"Dating?"

Chad and Jack's question comes out at the same time, and Chad pauses a minute, recomposing himself, as Jack repeats the query.

"Dating?"

"Sure are, aren't we, _honey_?" Sonny says through her teeth, looking at Chad.

Chad isn't stupid, and he kind of picks up on the whole look that says 'this is what I meant when I took that brief break during our hot and heavy make out session and said go along with it'.

Chad is about to flat out say no and ask her if she's lost it when he looks down at his plate, which contains his steak, which reminds him the whole reason he came in the cafeteria to begin with.

Steak and Sonny.

Sonny and Steak.

And Sonny just practically gave him an out to the whole make Sonny Munroe fall in love with you thing. Because she just said they're dating, which means he can say they're dating, which means he doesn't have to ask her out, and she owes him a huge favor. And he doesn't have to tell her he was going to ask her out anyway, because he needed a huge favor. And he doesn't have to tell Mike and Mitch he didn't ask her out, so they think he did, and that it's a real-fake relationship set up by him, as opposed to a fake relationship initiated by Sonny.

Perfect.

Chad smirks a little, and reaches his right hand across to Sonny's left hand that is placed on the table, and holds it softly.

"Sure are, Sonshine."

Sonshine? Yeah. Cheesy. But she smiles, which means it's getting the job done.

"Well, I'm going to give Jack a tour. You're still coming over tonight for movie night, _right_?"

Well, he is now.

"Wouldn't miss it." The three of them stand, and Chad stacks his plate with the numerous others on the table nearby. "Nice meeting you, Jack."

The two boys shake hands.

"Same here, Chad."

"Oh, I know." He smirks, and Sonny rolls her eyes. "Sonny."

"Chad."

_Note to self:_ They're really going to have to work on the couple thing.

* * *

Now, that morning was seemingly odd, but that night was just slightly painful.

For Chad, anyway.

* * *

After a few hours, a nice work out, and a devious plan formed, Chad shows up at Sonny's house for their 'movie night'.

He knocks on the door, which Sonny answers, and they exchanges greetings, before Chad pulls Sonny aside in to the kitchen.

Before he can get a word in edge wise, Sonny speaks. "Chad, I need you to fake date me."

Smirking, Chad just sighs.

"Ok, but you owe me big time."

Sonny crinkles her forehead, as she shifts her weight to one leg. "That's it? No argument?"

Shrugging, Chad turns to exit the room. "We'll discuss conditions later."

Now, a lot of things had happened that day, so Chad didn't think he'd be surprised by anything, really. That is, until he walked in the room, and low and behold, there was Jack, setting up the DVD player.

"What are you doing here?"

Jack jumps a little, turning around quickly, and all Chad can do is think that he should team up with Mike to form some superhero team for wimps.

Maybe when Chad gets older, he'll go into the comic book business.

_Platypus Man and his sidekick, Robin, the fairy._

Yeah, maybe he _shouldn't_ go into the comic book industry…

Jack smiles his warm, Texan smile (gag) and laughs a little. "Nice to see you too, Chad." Chad just crinkles his face. "I'm staying here with the Munroes for the next couple of weeks. Surely Sonny told you."

Jack walks up to Chad, as if he is implying a challenge. Chad inwardly rolls his eyes. He's being challenged.

By a goody-goody, Texan-Wisconsin, hometown, hick boy.

The. Nerve.

Chad just returns the smile (sarcastically, of course), and comments. "Oh she did, I meant what are you doing setting up the movie."

"Sonny said I could join you two."

As if on cue, Sonny enters, bringing in a couple of bowls of snacks.

"How are my two favorite guys?"

Chad and Jack turn from their position, and face Sonny, both smiling brightly.

"Great! Ready to start the movie?" Sonny nods in response to Jack's question, and turns off the lights, while the boys take seats on opposite ends of the couch.

By this point, Chad is really wondering what he got himself into.

Sonny takes a seat between the two boys, as they watch previews for movies that had been released a couple of years ago. Chad starts to wonder what they're watching, when in big, loopy letters 'The Notebook' flashes across the screen.

* * *

And that? That would be how Chad ends up having torture inflicted upon him by someone (coughmovieindustrycough) that Chad once thought of as a friend.

It also is the start of a very long night, which is the start of a very long week.

* * *

**AN:** Wow. Well, ok. This chapter was a bit all over the place, but it's just the beginning, my friends. I hope no one was disappointed, but if you were, don't be afraid to tell me! Any type of review is welcome and preferred, including constructive criticism. Hate it? Love it? Things you want to happen? Things you don't want to happen? Things you would change? Just tell me! Review please :)


	4. AN

**Author's Note**

In which Kate is extremely sorry and asks for forgiveness.

* * *

Hey guys,

Sorry to all those who thought this was a new chapter. I have been suffering severe writer's block that only allows me to write half a chapter before giving up. Yes. This is good and bad. Good because when inspiration comes back, it will allow me to complete about five chapters, bad for, well, obvious reasons.

I go on vacation for a week on Saturday, so I'm hoping I'll get one or two chapters up.

Please bear with me, and I'm extremely sorry for any inconvenience.

Hopefully it will be worth it when I am able to post!

Thanks again for all your reviews and support, and I hope I haven't lost any readers.

Love,

Kate


	5. Chapter 4

**The F a l l i n g Game**

_Sonny Munroe is not a tease. At least she claims she's not a tease. Chad Dylan Cooper begs to differ by the way her skirt is raising up against her bare thigh and her lips are feverishly attached to his. _

* * *

**AN:** I am so sorry this has taken me so long. There were exams and then there was writer's block and then vacation and then... Please forgive me. Yes, I know this isn't the strongest comeback, but it's kind of a filler. Yes, you guys deserve more then this, but something is better then nothing, so hopefully it's good enough for now. Thank you to any of you who have waited for so long for this and all those who support me. And welcome new readers too! The next chapter will be up sooner than this one was. If my fingers decide to get busy, you might even have it up within the next week!

I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks to Lori, as always!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

In which Sonny Munroe states the obvious (_obviously_), and realizes Chad Dylan Cooper must be a, like, dead inside, stupid robot, or something.

* * *

It is no secret that Sonny Munroe can practically be read like a book, because she does practically nothing to shield her emotions.

It goes like this:

Smile? Sonny is happy.

Frown? Sonny is sad.

Bite lip? Sonny is disappointed.

Hitting Chad Dylan Cooper in the stomach so hard that it might as well bruise? Sonny is annoyed.

Yes. Sonny Munroe is annoyed. Because out of all the possible boys in the cafeteria she could've chosen, she chose the most arrogant, heartless, unemotional, analytical, Notebook-laughing person possible.

Actually, he's not really a person.

He's more of an it or a robot or an alien or a black hole.

Did she mention he laughed at one of the most pivotal, emotional scenes of the Notebook?

No?

Well he laughed at one of the most pivotal, emotional scenes of the Notebook.

And now Sonny Munroe is _very_ annoyed.

* * *

When Jack arrived, Sonny was nervanxcited.

Normally it would've been more excited than anything, but normally it was Jack.

This is _Jack_, and under the conditions she's currently weathering, her emotions are in some sort of turmoil.

So, when he walks through the doors, right behind Tawni's stiletto heels, Sonny is kind of glad that she is too distracted by the fact that she was just making out with her friend-enemy person to even bother to over think any actions. If she wasn't so distracted, maybe she would have noticed that the hug lasted a long time or the fact Jack smiled and looked her over a couple times, but she was distracted, so she didn't notice.

_As much._

And as Sonny stands there, she kind of wishes that possibly Chad won't ruin this whole plan, or even Jack's opinion of him, by opening his mouth.

(Because thinking back on it, Chad ruins everything by opening his mouth: first impressions, second chances, any seemingly kind deed; it's almost as if Chad just doesn't have a filter.)

But, to Sonny's delight, Chad doesn't open his mouth. He just scoffs, which in turn directs Jack's attention to him.

And then Chad fails by not opening his mouth and not introducing himself.

So, Sonny stomps on his foot, hoping to get the point across, because, by this point, she is wondering just how stupid males (read: Chad) are (read: is) because by the way he's acting you would think she just asked him to become a rocket scientist or to make peace with Zac Efron. Introducing himself really isn't that hard a task, is it?

_No._

Well it's not hard for anyone but Chad, whose mental capacity is equivalent to an extinct dodo bird and whose attention span is that of an extremely small goldfish.

Yes, it's quite sad, but she doesn't feel bad for him, because he cares about himself enough to not have other people care about him too.

Sonny would rather worry about children in Africa or malnutrition or- the fact that Chad is laughing hysterically?

She really needs to start paying better attention…

Sonny watches as Chad sits down, and begins to eat his steak once again. The awkward silence settling over the room is too, well, er, awkward for her, so she sits down next to him (not on top of him, because she _so_ doesn't want to kiss him senseless again).

"Jack is originally from Texas." Her smile is so big, she actually thinks she's about to crack her own face. She notices the death glares she's receiving from Chad, but this small talk is a pivotal part of the whole five-to-seven step plan (dependent on just how many steps you really want to use, obviously).

Jack, being the polite, understanding, competent, charming, and _un-Chad-like_ person he is, decides to jump in, with his alluring Texan accent that he never lost and glistening smile. _Sigh._

(Wait, no. Not that type of sigh. Sigh as in fake sigh for someone else type of sigh, because she doesn't like Jack _like_ that. She likes Chad. She's 'dating' Chad. _Obviously._)

"Moved to Wisconsin when I was around eleven. That's when I met Sonny."

"Yep, we were best friends from day one."

Sonny notices that Chad doesn't look interested in anything but his steak, and decides she better make a move really quickly before the whole plan is spoiled by Chad's perfectly kept, yet too big, mouth. But how should she do it? She can't randomly kiss him again because that'd be weird, but she can't just sit there, and now there's another awkward silence- oh God, this isn't ending well, why does she have to over-think things, darn it! Now her opportunity will be blown and she'll be stuck in endless days of being Tawni's slave and singing that stupid Tawni Towne theme… How does it go again? Oh _yes_…

_She is pretty, and she's hot  
Big boobs, cute butt  
And all the guys want to touch  
But she ain't no slut_

_She is Tawni,  
Beautiful magnificent Tawni  
And she rules Tawni Towne  
In which everyone bows down  
To their queen in which they love  
Who was sent from up a-_bove

_Big heart, big smile  
Legs go on for miles  
She-_

"We were fourteen when we dated." Oh sweet Jesus, she is saved from the jingle of lies. _For now._ Jack shakes his head, and instead of jumping up and down like an insane maniac as she wants to, just for the pure reason that she didn't have to make out with Chad Dylan Pooper for no reason, Sonny calmly laughs, sighing a little.

"But _we_ don't want to talk about that."

"Are _we_ sure?"

Sonny places her left hand on Chad's right knee, and she can automatically sense his mood change. His leg stiffens and he raises an eyebrow, and Sonny can feel her heart beating a billion and one times faster than before.

"Well, I-" Before Jack gets another word in, Sonny swallows, smiles, and takes a quick breath, the words all coming out in a rush.

"Yes, _babe_. _We_ are sure."

Now doesn't that feel good? Sure.

And now there's no turning back…

Jack is the first one to ask the question of the century:

"Babe?"

"Yep." Sonny retracts her hand from Chad's knee and smiles, trying to keep her cool. "We're dating."

* * *

Now, Sonny is watching Chad's facial expression switch between confused to mocking and then back to confused.

And the worst part about the situation is it's completely out of her control.

The only thing she can do is sit back and give Chad death glares, hoping that he won't say anything, because if he does then not only does the plan fail, but she's stuck in an extremely awkward situation.

And where does it go from here? Well:

* * *

"Dating?"

The question comes out at the same time, and then Jack repeats it.

As if she hadn't heard the first time…

Oh God.

Still shooting glares at the surprised looking Chad, Sonny clenches her teeth. "Sure are, aren't we, _honey_?"

Chad opens his mouth, and then closes it several times, as if he was pondering something.

All he has to do is say yes and then Sonny will be in his debt. It should be the perfect set up for him, right? That's the only thing he wants. The only thing being power, _obviously_, and Sonny thinks if he just says-

"Sure are, Sonshine."

His hand reaches up, and beings to stroke hers and she definitely does not find it comforting or anything of the sort because- well, just because- No. It's _not._ Right, obviously, _yes_.

Sonny quickly recovers, flashing yet another toothy grin.

(She will _so_ be icing her mouth tonight. _Twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off, repeat until soreness eases._)

"Well, I'm going to give Jack a tour. You're still coming over tonight for movie night, _right_?"

They all stand, and Chad clears his half-eaten food off of his plate, before stacking it on the nearby table.

"Wouldn't miss it. Nice meeting you Jack."

After the boys shake hands, and Sonny shares a brief farewell with her new boyfriend, the two parties (party one: Chad and his ego, party two: Sonny and Jack) go their separate ways, one to the nearest mirror, _obviously_, and the other to the So Random dressing room, because Sonny has a sudden urge to talk to Tawni.

* * *

The first part of the plan, titled the five-to-seven step plan _plan_, went well, regardless of the part when Sonny unintentionally invited Chad over for an unplanned movie night, and now was going to be forced to explain to her mother what was happening and actually act couple-y with Chad.

But she doesn't know how to handle it, and that's where Tawni comes in.

So, Sonny sends Jack on a tour with Nico and Grady (not before praying that he doesn't come back in cheese pants or with a big bruise from ninja practice or some other totally expected unexpected catastrophic type thing), and makes her way to the room she shares with the blonde ice queen, to calmly ask what she's going to do.

* * *

"TAWNI! _Hellll_-puhhhh!" The blonde barely blinks an eye, and keeps flipping through her magazine, before gasping.

"Look! It's me! And I'm pretty!"

The brunette collapses on the sofa next to her companion, and moans. "Taww-niiiii." Sonny whines, her head in her hands. "I'm serious!"

"I am too!"

Sonny stands back up in a huff, wondering what she did to deserve this. Obviously, she must be taking a hit for someone else's deeds because she can't think of anything she would of done that would of caused her to deserve two vain blondes pestering her.

"You said you would help me with the bet!"

"And I will!"

"Well so far, you're doing a pretty awful job! I'm going through a- a-" Sonny lets out a breath. "-a sixth-of-a-life crisis!"

"Sonny," Tawni tosses the magazine to the side, and stretches her long legs in front of her. "You're being dramatic. I mean, it's just a movie."

Sure, yeah, a movie. There are only two problems: One, Sonny doesn't know what this movie is yet. And two, this movie is going to be watched by Chad and herself and Jack.

Gah.

First question: "Well, what movie?"

"Something Chad will hate! Like- like- Something romantic!"

Sonny decides to ignore Tawni's girly sigh, and pushes the conversation forward.

"Liiiikeeee?"

"Like," Tawni scoffs. "I don't know, what do I look like? Blockbuster?"

"How about '10 Things I Hate About You'? I love that movie!"

A look of disgust crosses Tawni's face, and by this point, Sonny is about ready to murder her with by her own blonde, curled hair extensions.

"Well, I was thinking something like 'The Notebook'. Totally romantic and totally boy torturing!"

Sonny doesn't completely enjoy the idea of watching 'The Notebook', because she ends up crying and her eyes go all puffy like she's some kind of freak and her cheeks turn splotchy like she has some sort of rash and- it's not pretty.

"I don't know, Tawni. I mean-"

Sonny's mouth is soon covered by a manicured hand.

"Do you want my help or not?"

"Ehahumum."

"Yes. You do. Trust me. 'The Notebook' is the per-_fect_ movie."

And when Sonny ends up squished between Chad and Jack on her couch that night, she decides she really regrets choosing the movie, and is really not looking forward to it at all.

But during that pivotal scene (in which she is crying her eyes out and she swears Jack is sniffling), she hears a small laugh.

But it couldn't be, right?

No one could laugh during this scene! There are love letters and she stops on the road and is crying and she's torn and-

Sonny hears the laugh again, and looks over to Chad, who is trying to conceal his laughter.

She knew this was a bad idea.

* * *

And that?

That would be how Sonny ends up annoyed, crying, and wondering if Chad Dylan Cooper was a little dead inside, just plain stupid, or maybe some sort of love-hating, emotionless, disrespecting, self-loving robot. Or maybe some sort of combination of all three.

(It's also how Chad ends up having to stick a bag of frozen peas on his stomach, but he had it coming.)

* * *

**AN:** I promise this is the last repeat chapter. I just thought it was kind of important to show some of Sonny's views on Jack's arrival, even though it wasn't much. Hopefully the next chapters will be up soon, I have bits of the next few chapters written and a bunch of ideas. Be sure to leave me ideas about what you want to happen! Your constructive and encouraging reviews help :) Thanks again for all your support, and some of your reviews seriously help me through the day, because, as sad as it sounds, my life has kind of been out of it lately, and my friends aren't being very nice! Haha. Anyways, hope you enjoyed it, next chapter will be up sooner, and did anyone spot the musical reference I made near the end? (Yes, I am a dork!) Wrapping this up, tell me what you thought by dropping a review on the way out? Thanks!


	6. Chapter 5

**The F a l l i n g Game**

_Sonny Monroe is not a tease. At least she claims she's not a tease. Chad Dylan Cooper begs to differ by the way her skirt is rising up against her bare thigh and her lips are feverishly attached to his. _

* * *

**AN:** OHMYGODDD! Guys, you are so amazing! I read all your fabulous reviews, and for the week, and I've been writing this chapter non-stop (yes, I finished two days after I posted the last chapter, but there where some technical and computer errors that plagued both my fanfiction email and my actual computer). I know a lot of people were upset over the last chapter because it was a repeat and not very well written, however it will be the last repeat until the very end! There may be some overlapping, but no complete repeats! I wanted to show a little about how Sonny felt about Jack. Anyway, I made this chapter a little longer than the others to make up for it! Hope you enjoy it! Oh, and on another note, I was re-watching Falling for the Falls, and they so used the mix up names in the scene thing! Old time favourite, and in my early SWAC stories! Haha, anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter! It's not beta-ed, but thank you Lori, anyways, because you're the best!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

In which Chad Dylan Cooper talks thumb wrestling, lists important thing, and has a battle of devil versus angel.

* * *

Six hours into 'dating' Sonny, Chad starts to realize he's in over his head.

Three days into 'dating' Sonny, Chad realizes he's _way_ in over his head.

Why?

Because he's starting to realize that she's not only freaking insane, but freaky things happen in her mist.

First there was the whole car incident, and then the whole speech incident, and then there was the whole _other_ suppose-to-be-speech incident, and now he's in some sort of demonic love square with a bird and Barbie, and- Maybe it'd be better if he just started at the beginning.

* * *

Two days worth of lunch dates (Chad paid the Paparazzi to show up, not that Sonny knew that) and hand holding (only in front of certain people or cameras) and gushy nicknames (Chaddy, really?) and Dayiversaries (who _does_ that?), Chad needs a break.

Who knew 'dating' and 'caring' would be so much effort?

And it's not even real dating or caring.

It's air quote dating and caring, which is, like, fake and stuff, and- If Chad knew it'd be this much work, he totally wouldn't of done this out of the kindness of his heart.

Ha, kindness of his heart, yeah, _right_. No, he totally would've had to do this, because he really had no choice, but Sonny doesn't have to know that. No, she just has to keep groveling at his feet, dotingly cooing at his every word (he pretends to over look the sarcasm when she tells him how amazing he is), and making him his samiches with the Panini maker he 'bought' her (read: she bought herself) for their 'four month' (read: seventeen hour) anniversary.

Yeah, he knows.

It's totally wrong.

Who the _hell_ buys their girlfriend a Panini maker for their four month anniversary?

Chad can point out four obvious problems with that idea, and he hasn't even had a girlfriend for four months (not that he _couldn't_, it's just he doesn't do relationships because they're messy and time consuming, and who really wants that when they can have no strings attached? Not him, no _way._).

Anyway-

_Chad's List of Why Panini Makers Make Awful Gifts:_

1. It's so _domestic_. It pretty much screams _I want you to marry me and have my children and make my sandwiches._ Which is just weird, because it's just 'four months' of togetherness, not four decades.

2. No normal girl wants a Panini maker for a four month anniversary, especially if they get to pick the gift. It's just, most girls pick jewelry or chocolates or a teddy-bear or some other girly shit. The only lame girls who would pick a Panini maker over girly stuff are the ones who like to eat, or, like, fake a boyfriend or something… Oh, _ha_, waaaaiiiiitttt-

3. Panini makers totally ruin some sandwiches. Unless it's filled with cheesy goodness, don't bake bread. Seriously, _don't_.

4. Like he would ever buy his girlfriend a Panini maker. Because, _come on,_ it's a Panini maker. He means, _really?_

Yeah. It's pretty bad.

Chad shakes his head as he makes his way to the parking lot to grab his phone, which he 'accidentally' left in the car (read: left in the car to avoid Sonny's continuous fake conversation texts). He's rounding the corner of the studio, nearing his reserved parking spot in the Mackenzie Falls parking lot, when he hears soft moans coming from the visitor's parking lot located on the other side of the trees.

Huh.

Why is someone moaning? Are they in pain? Is someone hurt? Is there blood and guts and gore and- _No._ Chad so doesn't care, but he still decides he's going to investigate under the pure reason of curiosity. _Because curiosity killed the Chad._

Another classic expression changed. Ha, may he just say: Hell. _Yes._

Chad crosses past the trees and walks along the rows of cars, towards the directions of the moans, when they are replaced by two voices.

"_- And in a car?"_

"_Ali-"_

"_Don't Ali me! You're supposed to protect me."_

Chad knew the second voice: Jack. There was no way he could miss the southern twang. And the first voice, also known as 'Ali', sounds suspiciously like Sonny. But it couldn't be… _Right?_ Of course.

'Ali' continues to moan, Jack is heard to be making shushing sounds, and Chad is standing out of view in shock, wondering what the hell is going on in the car.

Because, honestly, there are only two options-

_Chad's List of Options that Could Cause Moaning in a Parked Car:_

1. Thumb wrestling.

2. Rape and/or sex

"_Stop pouting! I'll pull out, ok?"_

A series of moans follow, and Chad is starting to lean towards the second option of why said 'Ali' is moaning. It's just that gut feeling. Chad awkwardly shifts, beginning to wonder if he walked into some porn movie.

But then he realizes that Jack is in the car, and there is no way that that Tweety Bird would be picked to star in a porno when Chad is in the studio right across the lot. Not that he would lower his standards to star in a porn movie, because, just, ew, and- Ugh, stupid curiosity makes him wonder who else is in the car, thumb wrestling with Jack.

Carefully, with his hands near his eyes just in case, he edges closer to the culprit's car, passing a silver Honda Civic, a BMW x5, and a blue Mini Cooper convertible on the way. He stops safely behind a tree right next to the car, thought to be unseen.

"_No, stop! It hurts!"_

"_I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you. Just tell me when you need to stop."_

"_I don't want to stop, I want to lose- _Chad?_"_

At the sudden sound of his name, Chad jumps, causing him to come into immediate view, which also allows him to see most of the scene inside the car, which isn't a pretty one.

The windows are rolled down, but the car is turned off, and in the driver seat sits a flushed Jack. With his shirt half unbuttoned, and a little torn on the sides.

_The animal must have ripped his shirt!_

Wait a second!

That is no animal.

Hmm, how _odd._

Chad starts to wonder if he thinks that the whole look Jack is portraying is weird, and then he doesn't know what he thinks of the mass off brown, wavy hair sprawled out across Jack's jean clad lap.

All he can think about it is that it's Sonny, and how he can't think of anything else except some weird feeling in his stomach.

Sonny's head turns to face him, wide eyed, but doesn't move off of Jack's lap.

"Chad, this isn't what it looks like."

Chad doesn't know if he should believe it. Not that he cares if he believes it or not, but, yeah. There is a perfectly reasonable explanation why his girlfriend- Wait, not even girlfriend- but fake girlfriend is cheating on him with her best friend in her best friend's car.

Wait, is it even called cheating?

He doesn't know, but it doesn't concern him.

No.

He _so_ doesn't care.

There's only one thing that concerns him.

What is it, you may ask?

Well, what the major concern is that he hasn't gotten, well, er, _anything_ except that one make out session that kicked this whole thing off. Ok, maybe he gets hand holding, and once he got a goodnight kiss. But that's it. And he thinks he deserves something because he wasn't allowed to go out to that party with that model last night because it would ruin the whole dating image thing, and Lydia has been avoiding him like the plague and, dude, he's a guy, he has to get something from somewhere.

But all his something from somewhere is going to this half-man in the front seat, and that makes him jeal- ANNOYED! Very annoyed. Yeah. _Psh._

"Uh, Chad?"

Chad snaps out of his daze, and realizes that maybe he should hear the story before jumping to conclusions for several reasons.

_Chad's List of Reasons to Not Jump to Conclusions (The Extended Addition, Added Points at the End):_

1. Overreaction is always necessary, but not over stupid things, because that just makes people look like an idiot. Unless your Chad Dylan Cooper, who he is lucky enough to be, because Chad Dylan Cooper looks too good to be an idiot.

2. The situation could be something entirely different then it looks like. In the famous singing words of Selena Gomez: _Everything is not what it seems._ True dat, peeps, true dat.

3 Ex. (Ex: Extended. Clever, he knows.) Sonny's body is twisted in an awkward position and her neck surely is cramping, and who would- er- thumb wrestle in such an uncomfortable position?

4 Ex. (Ha, Ex is still super clever.) It's Sonny-_Freaking_-Munroe. And Tweety-_Freaking_-Fairy-Bird. Like they would really do it in a car. Ha, the thought irks him. Not that Chad's thinking about it, 'cause he's _not_.

So, yes, if it's not thumb wrestling, and not rapeand/orsex, then what is it?

_Hmmmm._

"Chad, I can seriously explain."

"Oh. No need, Sonshine! I already know!" Chad smirks at Jack, showing that his and Sonny's relationship is based on a whole bunch of trust. No lies.

Well, except for the fact he just lied that he knows what's going on, and he lied when he says that something besides sandwiches was in this for him.

Oh, and the relationship is fake, which he guesses could make it a lie.

But, yeah, besides that, trust is the leading factor.

It's the foundation in which their relationship is built upon.

Trust _and _Communication are the two top components to make a healthy relationship.

Not that the last part would be him quoting a relationship building guide that he found in his house or anything.

Sonny cocks her eyebrow. "You do?"

Ha, silly Sonny. Oh course he does- _n't_.

Chad scoffs. "Yeah. It's kind of obvious. But if it makes you feel better, go ahead in explain all you want. _Every _miniscule detail."

Jack's face has a look on it that is half-way between skeptical and sick.

Sonny, however, seems fine, and moves her shoulders in a way that Chad assumes to be a shrug. "Well since you already know I don't have to explain. Can you just help us out?"

* * *

Yeah, turns out that Sonny and Jack decided to go out for a brunch forty-five minutes before Chad found them.

Bird-brain couldn't get the parking brake to release, so Sonny leaned down to help him. Tweety turned at the wrong time, causing Sonny's hair to be caught in his zipper. Then he set the car alarm off trying to get out of the car in a 'strategic' manner, because he had locked the car from the outside with the keys somehow. His shirt got caught in the slightly opened door and he was forced to rip it because if he tried to open the door, the alarm would go off again. In attempts to free Sonny's hair, they wiggled the zip around, which only unzipped the pants slightly, and got Sonny's hair caught in the zip-track-moo-higgy-thing as well.

This all could've been prevented if Chad was there. He doesn't know how he could've prevented it, but he could've, because he's _that_ cool.

Too bad he couldn't prevent the rest of his screwed up day.

* * *

After about an hour of convincing Sonny to let them cut her hair slightly, and then cutting Sonny's hair slightly, and reaching through the window and unlocking the car for them (the keys had supposedly fallen from the idiot's hand), Chad entered his dressing room, only to find Lydia sitting on his sofa, pouting.

His responsible brain says: Uh-oh. She's been avoiding me for forty-eight hours, what does she want?

His male brain says: _Chaaa_, bro. She couldn't even make it forty-nine hours without me. This dating thing so didn't cramp me. I still got it.

Contrary to popular belief, Chad is much more masculine then he is responsible.

(And don't let Zac Elfron tell you any differently, because Chad is _definitely_ not gay, even if he does primp more then all three JoBros combined. Let's just say green isn't a pretty color on Zacikins.)

"Hey _bay-bay_."

Lydia glares at Chad, and stands as soon as Chad walks over to her.

His responsible (devil) brain: She's hurt; I'm not getting any kissy-face.

His male (angel) brain: Angry= Hot!

Chad reaches his hand out to brush away a strand of hair in her face, but is quickly slapped away.

"Ow! What?"

"Don't play with me, Chad Dylan Cooper. I just came to tell you our no-strings-attached relationship is done."

Ha, play with her? He so was not playing with her. Physically or emotionally. So, _yeah_. He doesn't care. He just can't fathom the fact he may have just been cut from a no-string relationship, because he's not sure if that's possible…

"Done?" He scrunches his nose. "_Why_?"

Lydia rolls her eyes. "Because you're dating that Chuckle City clown to improve the ratings and whatever."

"Wait, are you jealous because you're not getting all the Chad loving? You know it's just for the cameras, Lyd. As you said, all set up for ratings."

Chad places his hand on her shoulder but is shrugged off yet again. He narrows his eyes, returning her glare.

"Puh-_lease_." She scoffs. "I'm _not_ jealous of that circus act. I just don't want to get cooties or mouth disease or something."

And with that, she's gone, not that Chad cares because honestly, Lydia is just a jealous pawn in his game of life. An extremely hot pawn, who has make out skills that are unheard of.

Except, as much as he hates to admit it, Sonny was definitely the hottest make out session he's ever had, and if she would make out with him again, it'd make him strangely turned on (in a totally not because it's Sonny way).

But don't tell anyone, because he'd deny it.

* * *

Not soon after Lydia leaves, Chad makes his way to set to shoot his next scene, only to be greeted by an un-welcome committee:

* * *

"Well if it isn't Chad Dylan Pooper!"

"What cha doing here, Pooper?"

Chad stops, and looks blankly at the two idiots in front of him. Are they serious right now?

They can try to be tough, but they fail. _Miserably_. They're like those nerds who think they're tough and are all like: "I can kill you with this paperclip due to pressure points and quadratic equations." And they puff out their chests, cross they're arms, and eye you like they're some tough wrestler punk, but they're lame.

Yes, these two doofs are like those nerds with their chests all puffed out and arms folded. Except they're too stupid to be nerds. They're like wanna-be pose-as-tough-guy nerds. Ha, lame.

"Urkel." Chad pauses and looks at the pudgier of the two. "Napoleon Dynamite." Confusion crosses the two boy's faces.

(Chad refuses to refer to them as anything but boys, because really, they're certainly not men, guys is a too personal level, and clowns, well, ha, that's more of an inside thing.)

"Uh, Chad?"

Chad cranes his neck around, looking for the short little creeper who hides in the vents. He clears his throat. "Bloody 'ell, where's Gruh-ayyynnn-gaaah?"

Napoleon turns to Urkel and not so subtlety whispers. "Why is he speaking like that? And who's Graingah?"

"I don't know, but focus." Urkel turns his attention to Chad, and takes a step closer. "So, Pooper, heard you're dating our little Sonny."

"Our Son-_nayyyyy_!"

Urkel nudges his companion, and makes a cutting sign with his hands.

Wow, these children (yes, they've sunk to a new low) are _so_ smooth.

Chad scoffs, wondering if they realize that he and Sonny are indeed a fake couple.

"What's it to ya?" He responds, before promptly walking around them.

He can hear the two children quicken their step, until they're walking on either side of him. Chad stops, and eyes both of them. Before they can barely open their mouths to speak, Chad is already forming words. "You two realize that we're not really dating, right?"

Urkel nods tilting his head upward, while Napoleon does some sort of 'intimidating' head swivel, which makes it seems like he has some sort of neck twitch.

"Oh, we know. But it's too nice of you to go along with Sonny's whole plan."

"_Wayyy_ too nice!"

Does that blubbering idiot have to reinforce everything the tall, skinny one says?

"Dude, do you have to repeat everything I say?" Hmm, Urkel got snaps!

_Note to self: Never say snaps again._

Chad smiles. "Listen, Urkel, Napoleon," He stops short noticing the confused looks across their faces. Ha, they will never understand the genius behind those nicknames. It'd be so funny if they knew. Especially the blonde Gravy dude, because he's _fat_ and Napoleon Dynamite is like a twig or something and- Ha, the humor is practically unbearable. "You don't need to come in here all worried."

"Worried?" Insert laughter. "Psh. Psh. No! We're not worried!"

"What made you think we're worried?"

"Do we look worried? 'Cause we're not. Concerned is a way better word."

"Yeah, _concerned_! As in you should be concerned if you hurt Sonny."

"Dude, snaps!" Urkel high fives Napoleon, and Chad is definitely not using that word ever, _ever_ again.

"I'm not in this to hurt Sonny."

Poleydy (as in Napoleon Dynamite combined?) deflates his chest, and Urkelway (yeah, Chad's bilingual) takes a step back.

Thankfully they're now out of Chad's bubble, so he can regain his composer and not feel claustrophobic or like he's being hit on by two gay clowns. That's definitely not a pretty thought.

"You're not? Then why are you doing it?" Urkel creases his brow.

Chad doesn't know if he should feel insulted or not. Why is he doing it? Well because he has too. Mike and Mitch ask him for twelve-hour updates, and the 'The Falls' ratings are already up, and that's just on reruns. That's why. But he can't say that, so time for excuse B.

"The samiches. And she has to say how great I am, which is, like, torture enough for her. Oh, and that Jack-in-the-box guy bugs me. So it's funny to watch him all squirmy."

Urkel and Napoleon exchange a skeptical glance.

"Squirmy?"

"Are we done? I have a scene to star in."

Without an answer, Chad leaves his second speech (or lack-there-of speech, because it failed) of the day.

* * *

Sure, the car incident and those 'speeches' were weird, but that night, things get really awkward:

* * *

Somehow, in between the nerds' speech, filming season four, and death glares from Lydia, Chad finally gives in and decides to go on the double date Sonny was planning with her 'friends'.

Well, actually Mike and Mitch called him into the office for an update on how the whole be spotted by the paparazzi and Chad 2.0 thing was going, and platypus finally wore him down with questions enough to make Chad not only say that they were going on a double date, but it was to an extremely popular (and public) restaurant.

And that he would pay.

Chad seriously blames it on the chi-yoga-voodoo shit going on in the room, because it has to be, like, taking over his mind or brain washing him or something.

(Yes, Mitch is still into it, and trust Chad when he says that the whole cast is suffering from it. Every morning they now have 'Pilates for your mind _and_ body' for an hour, which supposedly allows them to 'stretch their minds _and_ bodies'. Yeah, _right_. The most mind enriching part of that is seeing the girls in yoga pants in poses that certainly- _er _- enhance and stretch Chad's mind.)

So that's how Chad finds himself at **Yamashiro** sitting across from Barbie and Fairy-bird that very night.

He should've guessed those were her friends, because Urkel and Napoleon could never land a date and Granger (after the frizzy haired witch. Fits, right?) is like, eight and weird, or something like that. Chad doesn't judge.

But it's not his fault he didn't connect the dots, because he didn't know Tawni and Birdy were like _that_. In all honesty, it doesn't even make complete sense.

While they're eating their appetizers, Chad watches and listens carefully, trying to pick up on anything suspicious. He finally starts to sense a pattern that has been occurring ever since the two couples got in the car.

"-and then I just said, excuse me, but I think you have the wrong person!"

Jack tells a failed attempt of a humor story, and Sonny laughs. A lot.

As in too much. As in she's trying super hard.

She couldn't- No. No way. She is not dating the amazing The Great Chad Dylan Cooper to make bird boy jealous.

Seven failed attempts of humor and a Tuna entrée later, Chad notices Tawni give a pointed glare at Sonny, before both leave, claiming they need 'the little ladies room'.

They're words exactly, _trust him_.

The boys just finish ordering coffee and desserts, when Jack breaks the awkward silence.

"So, how are you?"

Really? Chad is slightly appalled by the whole small talk approach, and decides to skip right to the juicy stuff.

_Woah._ Wait a second! Just because he's been hanging around girls does not mean he's going to start talking like them.

Chad decides to skip right to the_ interesting_ stuff.

Yes, much better.

"The girls look great tonight."

"Tawni looks beautiful. And of course Sonny is gorgeous, as always."

As always, _huh_? What's that suppose to mean? That it goes without saying? Birdy boy is really irritating.

"Yes, she is. I know. Because I'm her boyfriend. And you're Tawni's date, which I was surprised about, by the way."

The fairy-bird chuckles, smiles, and looks off towards the restroom. Oh, how romantic. _Right._ Well Chad, personally, finds it disgusting.

"Yeah. She just came right up and asked me out yesterday. I spent the whole day with her. Well, besides the brunch I convinced Sonny to go on, but we see how that ended."

Chad cocks his head. "Wait, so you haven't spent, like, any time with Sonny?"

Just then the girls walk up, and Sonny offers a smile. Which Chad notices doesn't quite reach her eyes. Hmm, how very currrrriousss.

"Did we miss much?"

Jack goes on to explain how they ordered desserts and tells another 'funny story', but Chad can only think of one thing.

The girls missed something huge. They missed Chad realizing that Sonny needed to fake date him to make bird-brain jealous. Not only that, but by the way she's laughing, Sonny is not only trying to make bird-brain jealous, but she's laughing loudly at all his jokes and is staring at him in a way Chad didn't notice before. Sonny Munroe is slightly obsessed and in love with a bird. Who is dating a walking Barbie doll.

* * *

And that whole day-dinner ordeal? That is what led Chad to the realization that Sonny Munroe is freaking insane (and causes freaky things to happen), and that serious shit is about to go down.

* * *

AN: Huh. Wow. Glad that's over? Haha. Hope you enjoyed it! And I can't wait for you guys to read the next chapter! Hopefully my fingers will get busy again! I just finished taking driver's ed with one of those really cliché driving teachers who gave a demonstration of what our head would be like if we ever experienced a crash. Yes. He demonstrated this by smashing a melon. So that's what I've been dealing with. Anyways, enjoy the chapter? Hate the chapter? Things you want to see happen? Constructive reviews not only help my writing, but make my day! Please review!


	7. Chapter 6

**The F a l l i n g Game**

_Sonny Monroe is not a tease. At least she claims she's not a tease. Chad Dylan Cooper begs to differ by the way her skirt is rising up against her bare thigh and her lips are feverishly attached to his._

* * *

**AN:** I'm sorry. Actually, sorry can't even describe what I feel. Obviously, as you guys could probably tell, I took a break. It was unexpected, and I cannot apologize enough for leaving all of you hanging when you all had been so good to me. I am resurrecting this story. Not promising how frequent updates will be, because I almost have no time. I want to kind of apologize for this chapter in advance- Originally, I had a chapter before this, but realized it was unnecessary, so cut it. That then meant that I had to write this out as a Sonny POV, instead of Chad, and let me tell you, easier said then done, haha. It isn't as, well for lack of a better word, 'mature' as my other chapters, because while I've been trying to get back into the characters, I easily found Chad, and Sonny seemed to be a little harder… And the end? Yeah… I apologize. It sucks. Not as funny. I know blahblahblah. Chad is next, I'll be back with it, I promise. Anyways! I hope you enjoy it, regardless! Not much Chad, but soon enough I'll be making up for it!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

In which Sonny Munroe is not a whore, becomes violent, and ends up in jail with a hobo cross-dresser.

* * *

Here's the thing: Sonny Munroe is beginning to realize that over the years she's made a couple of bad decisions. Ok, fine, a couple of _very_ bad decisions.

Sure, she has good intentions and noble morals, but all her plans seem to fall apart in the end. A totally random example being the 'Peace Picnic', which started as a _peaceful_ picnic to heal the open wounds of rivalry, and ended with pants with holes on the butt and extremely sore backs. Then there was the whole fake fan thing, which wasn't a complete loss, because Chad did have to wear the stupid beard… Oh! And the disaster that was suppose to be prom, don't get her started on that. And the matchmaking incident between Ms. Bitterman and Marshall, and the Tawni troubles with Hayden and her momager. Then the whole Blossom Scout cookie thing, followed closely by the Gassie incident- and yes, you get the point.

But Sonny never second-guessed any of these things.

So, when did she begin to second-guess things? Not when she invited Jack to visit her, and surprisingly not even when she accepted Tawni's ridiculous bet (which she should of really known better, but _whatever_.). She didn't even question herself when she flung her Staciialter ego into Chad Dylan Cooper's awaiting lap, and certainly not when she initiated the whole fake dating. Ok, maybe she questioned herself a little bit, but not enough to, you know, back out and pretend the whole horrific event never, ever happened; she didn't realize it when she got, er, _stuck_ on Jack's lap, not when she was pulled into a bathroom during dinner by Tawni, nor when she started to list her likes and dislikes to Chad on a late night phone call, while he promptly blew raspberries through the line. She didn't even realize it when Tawni's car broke down on the way to Disneyland, or when she had to walk three and a half miles to some Podunk gas station for no apparent reason.

No, her bad decision-making didn't really hit her until that night, when she was sitting in the back of a cop car, covered in spaghetti sauce and soot, contemplating what she could of possibly done to avoid this whole ordeal.

Maybe it'd be better if she starts at the beginning…

* * *

It's Saturday morning, and Sonny is functioning on three hours of sleep and just about ready to scream.

Loudly.

Last night, during dinner, in a _subtle_ bathroom break (meaning she called it the little ladies room or something else really stupid and dragged her by the arm), Tawni decided to inform her that she had this _fantabulous idea_ and had taken the _kind-hearted initiative_ (not going to lie, Sonny was impressed that Tawni knew what such big words meant) to organize Saturday as a whole day of _couple-y_ _fun _(which automatically de-impressed her). Yep, Tawni's words exactly, which really indicate red flags right then and there, sending off some sort of mental alarm of something that Sonny should put all her effort into avoiding.

And trust her when she says that usually she would politely decline the offer, and not partake in such a recipe for disaster. Because, really, anyone with a brain could tell that sticking Chad and Jack _together_ in a car- in the middle of summer, on a Saturday, no less- to get to Disneyland was, in lack of a better adjective, _stupid_. Which brings Sonny back to the point that it was Tawni's idea.

The problem was (and trust her, there is always a problem) that she was already one day behind on her whole Jack-jealousy-dating-madly-in-love-with-her thing. And as Tawni had so very kindly, and so _not_ obviously, pointed out several times during dinner, (you know, bringing it up in regular conversation: _There are __four__ ice cubes in my pink lemonade!_, and _Chad and Jack both have __four__ letters in their name!_, and _When I was __four__ I was a child model!_, and _That girl is a __four__ eyes!_, and, Sonny's personal favorite: _Four__ days and it will be Tuesday night, time flies when you're pretty!_. Yes, by the end of the night Sonny really wanted to stick a _four_-k in Tawni's French tipped hand…) she only had four days until the half way mark of Jack's trip, which also stood as the halfway mark of her mission, which was the halfway of the bet, which means she should be almost dating Jack. By Tuesday. Which was now three days away. And she was still 'dating' Chad.

Ya know, if it wasn't under the circumstances she's facing, Sonny might think that she's a _little_ bit of a whore.

Sonny snaps out of her thoughts due to a car horn, signaling her day of 'fun' is about to begin. _Joy._ Did she mention it's seven o'clock in the morning? Because it is. And she went to bed at four, after spending all night talking to a certain blond-haired, egoistical, teen-heart throb, who also happened to be the worst fake boyfriend in the world.

Seriously, the _worst_.

Why does she say this? Well, last night, while they walked Sunset Boulevard, fulfilling almost every teen movie cliché ever (besides the fact they didn't kiss or hold hands or gaze into each other's eyes or profess their love for one another, or, you know, _touch_, but she doesn't really care anyway, because it's not like she has to, or even _wants_ to, kiss him, _no_, in fact, she's glad he didn't touch her, because he has cooties and is some sort of black hole of a person, and who wants to be touched by someone like _that_?), she realized that they're suppose to be dating, and most seven year old girls probably knows more about her then he does. Which, in her eyes, was a serious problem that needed to be fixed immediately, because, fake or not, they were now both in a relationship, together, as in a joint commitment, and if you're in a joint commitment, you should know basic things about each other.

So, when she got home, Sonny took the liberty of typing up a list of all her favorite things (which may or may not have been 18 pages long after she edited out all the excess facts, and left only the most important ones, but she did use point 14 font, and spaced the lines with 1.5 space, which is practically double-spacing, so who's _really_ counting, anyway), and emailed it to Chad. Who, in return, promptly called her and demanded (not asked, not inquired, and certainly not politely questioned) what the hel- uhm, _heck_ it was. She admits that she may have gotten a tad carried away when she explained every single item on the list for a good five hours, but it is extremely important, and in her defense, her explanations would have gone a lot faster if Chad hadn't started blowing raspberries around hour two and not fallen asleep somewhere in between her 'Favorite Movie' (_10 Things I Hate About You_, appropriately, or not so appropriately, depending on how you want to look at it) and her 'Favorite Water Activity (When it's Not Warm Enough to Swim)' (Boating, just FYI). She refused to completely repeat the one's he missed, and will not feel one ounce of guilt if Chad ever finds his self in need of the vital information that he valued his sleep over.

Really, she won't.

Since 'dating', she's found her self to be more independent then ever before.

She is woman, hear her roar!

RO- _BEEP!_

Oh, right. Car. Waiting.

She rolls her eyes as she leaves her apartment, quickly making her way down the two flights of stairs, and out to the curb, where Tawni's red BMW 135i is stationed. Tawni is sitting at the wheel, the empty passenger's seat next to her, with her hand out the window, extending a road map to Sonny, while two fully-grown guys, one blond, one dark-haired, are in the backseat with their legs awkwardly placed, trying to fit.

She can already tell this is going to be an extremely long two, or so, hours.

* * *

But see, that's where she's sort of wrong.

In fact, the trip only lasts approximately 53 minutes, not to say it's not a long enough time.

And not to say they actually got to Disney.

* * *

The first 14 minutes of the drive started like this (and Sonny won't get carried away with descriptions, only commenting in places that really count, because honestly, the whole situation speaks for itself, literally):

"Ow! Ali, tell your boyfriend to keep his elbow to himself."

"Hey! Watch it, fairy! I'll stick my gorgeous, _modelesque_ elbows wherever they desire to be." (Yes, he seriously just said that.)

"I'm sorry, Chad, I'm not trying to get you upset, it's just your elbow is jabbing into my side, which I don't understand, being that you have plenty of room."

"What yo talkin' 'bout, fool! Yo wimp! Deal wit it! _Plenty ovuh room?_ Hell to the naw! I ain't got no room up in this joint!"

"Ok, Young Cheesey, stop with the gangster talk. Get over it. You're not Snoop, Weezy, or Fiddy Cent. You can't even be classified as MC Hammer. You sound _stupid_."

"What_ever_, Blondie. You're just jealous you're not a ghetto thug like me."

"Chad, you're a privileged, fair haired, _soap star_. That's not ghetto."

"Sonny, you had no need to comment."

"Chad, you're being obnoxious."

"I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get your nerves, and this is how it-"

"Really, Chad, _really_?"

"Oh, come _on_, Sonny. We're really back to _that_?"

"Are you two having trouble?"

"He is _always_ a trouble, but it only makes our love grow stronger, _right, Chaddy_?"

"Yeah, birdy boy, I'm always- Hey! Wait a minute! No I'm-"

"Will all three of you shut up? I'm _trying_ to drive, here!"

"Tawni, you're suppose to-"

"Shh!"

"Tawni, you're suppose-"

"_Shh!_"

"TURN!"

_Screechhhh!_

"I have an idea, let's play the quiet game."

"_Oh, I'm a red chested bird, and I have _nothing interesting_ to say, so I'll recommend a stupid game-"_

"Ok, license plate game!"

That bright idea of Sonny's only lasted about four minutes.

"I'm bored." Chad yawns, and Sonny's starting to realize it's always Chad. Chad is always bored, and Chad is always annoyed, and Chad is always so _CHADCHADCHAD_.

Which sounds an awful lot like STABSTABSTAB. Which she kind of wants to do, preferably with a spork into Chad's arm or eye. She's not a particularly needy or petty person, so she'll accept either opportunity.

"Maybe you should sleep, you look tired."

Sonny counts her lucky stars for Jack, because she has absolutely no idea what she would do without him and his beautiful, Texan accented, _glorious_ ideas.

"I know. I have freaking _circles_ under my eyes. And it's Sonny's fault. She kept me up all night talking on the phone about this stupid list and some stupid movie called '7 Things' or something numbery, which is supposedly about this gay, Australian, sinister, underage drinking, Batman hating clown, who lives in the mountains and takes woodshop, and makes some bet with a poetry loving, cat owning feminist about a guitar, because she flashed a teacher so they can play paintball, and then they go to prom with Anne Hathaway and some cowboys in some place called Brokeback, but they want to be in an east coast school, but the Obi Wan dad refuses, but then hot blond Bianca comes up and goes totally badass, and there's something about Mel Gibson and a parrot…or maybe it's a patriarch…" He pauses for a minute. "Oh! And there's a French speaking nerd, who sings or something. I don't know, I kind of started dosing off at some point."

Suddenly, images of sporks and Chad's eyeballs rolling across the floor are overtaking her thoughts.

The car falls silent, and Sonny wants to hit Jack for even bringing up any indication that he actually wanted Chad to talk. Instead, she follows her natural instinct, and hits Chad with the map in her hand (which she so craftily folded to closely resemble a paddle), because Jack is far too amazing to _ever_ inflict any pain on whatsoever. And she says that in a totally friendly, platonic, not Jack dating, completely not whorish way. Yep.

_De-Nile is only a river in Egypt._

Before she can even realize what's happening, the map slips from her hand, unfortunately missing the now smirking Chad, and flies out the open window (which, in her defense, shouldn't of been open anyway, but they were going by some factory or something of some sort, and Tawni happened to like the smell of it). This seriously could not get any worse.

"Sonny! That was the only map we had!" The screechier, female, yet only slightly more feminine, blonde shrieks. "Now we have to use the GPS!"

Or maybe it could get worse.

"You mean instead of me having to give you _turn-by-turn directions_, we could've been using it the _whole_ time."

"I guess, it's just the lady is so _annoying_! She says route like _'ruh-out'_ instead of _'ruh-ute'_. And she's always telling me where to go! _Nobody_ tells Tawni Hart _anything_."

Sonny then proceeds to plug her ears and hum to herself, and focus herself on the sea of red tail lights ahead, blocking everyone else in the car out, because they're seriously that annoying. Sans Jack. He's perfectly fine. Which could be taken in a literal or figurative way. Not a whore, not a whore, not a whore…

She's starting to realize that while she is becoming more of a woman, it's not just her independence she has gained. Along with her womanhood, she's picking up some new traits. Including the fact she's becoming less and less of a patient person, and her goody-two-shoes ways are slowly fading. She would be a little upset about the fact if it weren't for her current irritation and ill temper.

_Lalalalalalalalalalalala-_

"Please proceed to the highlighted _ruh-out_, and then your _ruh-out_ guidance will start. _Ruh-out_ guidance is now starting."

_Hmm_, she kind of understands where Tawni is coming from…

Only 84 minutes remaining. She can do it. Except they're turning off the highway. Unplugging her ears, she folds her hands in her lap. Why are they turning off the highway?

"Why are we turning off the highway?"

Tawni rolls her eyes, as if what Sonny is asking is common knowledge, and Sonny wants to knock her perfect, well-kept head right off her shoulders. Violence seems to be the only answer these days. Sporks, eye gauging, head knocking- what will she come up with next?

"Because it's the fastest route."

Sonny moves the position pointer around the digital map, and finds that they have to go a back road, and on to another exit, where they can get back on the highway, while avoiding traffic. The car falls to silence, and Sonny decides that maybe this whole ordeal won't be so bad after all. She just needs to be patience. She can do it. Just take deep breaths, in, out, in, out- She's totally doing it!

This plan goes well until Tawni (stupid, _stupid_ Tawni) decides to turn on the radio, and immediately an auto tuned pop song violates Sonny's ears, raping her mind. Seriously, it's called _personal space_.

"I. Love. This. _Song._" She squeals, and Sonny is about to ready to rip off her ears, because it's that song by the alcoholic, Mick Jagger loving, money sign girl. And then she seriously is about ready to rip off her ears, because Tawni is singing along, sounding even worse then the song itself. _"I've got glitter on my eyes, stockings all ripped up the sides, looking sick and sexyfied, so let's-_"

"Change the station!" Sonny quickly hits the scan button.

"_And I need you now tonight! _BAM!_ And I need you more then evah_-"

Only Tawni could ruin one of her favorite songs (which happened to be on her list, 'Favorite Love Song- Needing and Helpless Category').

Scan.

"'_Cause I duhug my key into the side-" _

Scan.

"_Na na na nan a COME ON!"_

Scan.

"_Sex in the air! I don't care!"_

Wasn't that literally on the last station?

Scan.

"_I am in missssery!"_

Yes, she really is.

Scan. _Scan_. SCAN. SCAN! _SCANSCANSCAN!_

'Tiny Dancer' fills the speakers, and Sonny smiles, retracting her hand from the radio dial. This was her and Jack's song when they were dating, and is one of her favorite songs of all time (just ask Chad. No, she's totally being sarcastic, he'd have no idea…but seriously, it's listed on her list of favorites as 'Favorite Song- Of All Time'). She loves oldies.

Tawni pouts, and whines: "I don't know this song."

_Perfect._ Sonny closes her eyes and begins to hum along.

"Ali knows this song, don't you, Al?"

Sonny turns back and looks at Jack, who has a grin plastered on his face, and she can't help but smirk and think: VICTORY!

"I sure do- Oh! Remember that time we were at that dance, and I had that blue dress on, but-"

"_Sonny_ knows this song too! Don't you, my precious Sonbeaming, Sonfleur?"

Oh, right. Chad. She had kind of forgotten he was in the car. And what's up with all the nickname-y, matchy-matchy, French terms? And acting like Ali and Sonny are two different people? _Weird._

"I know this song too!" Tawni huffs, obviously annoyed that all the focus has shift off of her. She takes a breath, and begins to open her mouth, and-

Scan.

Sonny really wishes she didn't have to do that.

"Keep this song on!" Chad yells from the back of the car, and Sonny is extremely confused, she's never heard the song before, but it sounds kind of-

"_My name is Tawni! I'm not scrawny! Fly, oh my, just out of a salon-y, Got a dress to try-on-y, made out of chiffon-y, you can look, but if you touch, I'll scratch your eyes out- Pretty as a picture, sweeter then-"_

Then, the car stops, the only benefit being the radio stopped too, thank God. But still, Sonny is about to flip a Shih Tzu, as in the cute little teacup dogs? Yes. She loves them- Or maybe it's Yorkies she loves, but then- Oh, right, car. Stopped. Crisis.

"Tawni, why did the car stop?"

"Do you think we'd be stopped if I knew? _Geeze_, Sonny, for someone who claims to be smart, you're really stupid."

Jack gets out of the car, and Sonny follows, being that Tawni wouldn't get her hands dirty, and Chad wouldn't even think of looking at others getting their hands dirty. And he's still sitting, muttering something about Kanye. He's so _weird_.

Jack opens the hood of the car, bending over to get a closer look, and Sonny just stands there practically dying of absolute gorgeousness as his shirt rises a little against his tan, muscular back. Seriously, he could bake cookies. On his body. Because it's so hot. _Sizzle._

It's just- holy mother of cow, so many inappropriate thoughts.

Wait, why is he standing up? No, no- GET BACK DOWN. Life is not fair. This is upsetting, she so wasn't done fantasizing about him and car oil and leather and- Ok, his mouth is moving- Oh he's talking, ok… _Concentrate, Sonny, concentrate._

"I'm sorry, I spaced, _what_?"

Jack smiles his perfect little grin, and runs his oily hand through his hair, causing little smudges of dirt to line his forehead. _Adorable._ "I said nothing is wrong under the hood, so I'm guessing we need to check the gas."

If Tawni forgot to fill up the gas, she might actually go on a murderous rampage.

And you think she's kidding… No. She's dead serious. Lately, the idea of violence seems to enthrall her. Especially when it involves sporks, heads, eyeballs, and two blond people who she wouldn't mind pushing off the face of the universe.

"Tawni!" Sonny storms over the driver's side of the car, and swings the door open, while the blonde keeps filing her nails. "Did you fill the tank up with gas before we left?"

Tawni stops, her gaze shifting up to Sonny, while the rest of her face contorts into some sort of scrunch. "Gas?"

_Facepalm_. She has got to be kidding. "Yeah, you know, the smelly stuff that makes the car go vroom?"

"I know what gas is, _Sonny_." Tawni scoffs, flipping her hair. "And for your information, the gas dial clearly reads- Oh."

Oh. OH! That's all she has to say for herself? It's below 'E', which Sonny didn't even think was possible. And then an iPhone is suddenly shoved into her face.

"Nearest gas station is about three and a half miles away." Oh, Sonny forgot Chad existed for a minute. No wonder things seemed so peaceful and happy. "I'll call a tow truck." How oddly helpful… Maybe when the car stopped, Chad hit his head or something.

"Nah, that'll take too long. I can walk." Sonny turns around, coming face-to-chest with Jack, who she swears must be a superhero.

Jack in spandex and tights- Sweet bejesus, _why_ does she do this to herself?

Before her brain has completely unmushified and can comprehend that it's in the mid-90's outside and they're in the middle of nowhere, her mouth opens itself and says: "I'll go with you!"

And it even has the audacity to smile afterwards.

Stupid mouth.

* * *

Upon reaching the gas station, after an almost two hour walk, Sonny was wondering what possessed Jack to have such an utterly stupid idea.

He claimed it beat sitting in a sweltering car for two hours, which she didn't agree with until half way through mile two, when decided to hitch a ride on Jack's back. Which she swears wasn't satisfactory at all. Girl Scout's honor.

It also wasn't enjoyable to see him all hot and sweaty and delicious.

Did she mention she's not a Girl Scout? No? Well good then, because she's totally lying.

However, by the time they got there, explained their situation, got a canister of gas, and called Tawni, Chad had already called a tow truck, and they were waiting outside the station for them.

To say the least, Sonny was not very happy.

And the night only got worse.

* * *

After scraping the Disneyland idea (thankfully), the four amigos (may Sonny add the 'amigo' term should be taken very lightly, if considered at all) got themselves cleaned up, and decided to catch an early dinner and then go to a movie.

Which just sounded absolutely fantastic and out of anything in the whole wide world, Sonny would choose that very thing to do.

So, obviously, when they arrive at the restaurant and the staff refuses to seat them, Sonny decides to take her frustrations out on an innocent tray of plates, which flung spaghetti everywhere, including all over her and her 'amigos'. Unsurprisingly, Chad was the one who shrieked.

Totally not her fault, her arm just slipped.

At least, that's how she explains it to the sleazy looking manager of the Italian restaurant, whose hair looks like it was sealed in superglue. At least he was understanding, though.

_"OUT!"_

Yes indeed, he just yelled at the top of his lungs.

And Sonny, who was not in the mood just responded with a trifling, yet stearn: "Make me."

In her defense, at least she did something. The other three just sat there like bumbling idiots. Except for Jack, who sat there like an attractive, bumbling idiot, and did a little cough thing that signaled her to stop. But, regardless, they might as well have not even been there at all.

So, as the manager called the cops, Sonny realized she was going in alone, and decided to attempt to make a run for it, but instead slipped on Spaghetti sauce, and grabbed onto a tablecloth to try to keep her balance, sending a candle through the air and landing directly on a curtain. Which was apparently flammable.

At least the back of a cop car was a lot more comfortable then expected, giving her a cushioned place to repeatedly hit her head while she contemplated how exactly she got into the situation in the first place, and how stupid she truly was.

* * *

And that?

That's how Sonny Munroe ends up stuck in a jail cell with a person who she can't quite determine if they're a boy or a girl, but likes to hum, is dressed in an outfit that could only be considered the outfit of someone who was raised by a family of street clowns and prostitutes, and adds the word 'toots' to the end of everything he/she says.

And wouldn't you know, she has to wait five hours until being bailed out, because Tawni wouldn't leave her date, Jack was obviously drugged or something by his date, and Chad decided he rather watch the movie first, and then bail his 'girlfriend' out.

Safe to say, Chad is now 'fake single'.

Or, as the case may be, real single.

* * *

**AN:** Again, I apologize. Especially for the bad ending. Hope it was at least semi-enjoyable though! Drop a review, constructive criticism is always welcome :) How did you feel about the chapter? What do you want to see happen? Do you want to do things to Jack? (I do...) Let me know! I don't bite.


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